Category Archives: beautiful life

Live longer (and fuller)

Free jump (Sifaka!)

We don’t usually remember mundane things. Repetitive tasks somehow tend to blend together as we remember only general, global ideas. Need proof? Just ask yourself what you did in a given day in the past. Let’s say… April 27, 2001. Most people(me included) will fail remembering anything from that particular date, so they’ll just use the general information about that period, as well as their common-sense, to extrapolate what they might have been doing on that particular date. Me, I was in the last semester of my second year of college, so I probably studied, or worked on the numerous homeworks and projects. I was also, probably, spending time with my girlfriend from college. Nothing more comes to mind, though. On the other hand, what about February 17, 2000? Well, that’s a lot easier – it was my birthday, I visited my grandfather in the hospital, and it was the last time I saw him alive(he died one week later, may he rest in peace). I even remember a few of the things we talked about, and how one of the hospital roommates did a magic trick with a cigarette. What about December 31, 2007? That’s even easier – it was the date I proposed to my lovely current wife, and I can remember a lot more things from the date, including moments from the New Year’s party afterwards.

This was a long paragraph, meant only to prove a point – we don’t usually remember every single step and every single breath and every single thing of an otherwise ordinary activity. Instead, we remember our lives by key moments, by the moving discutions, by extraordinary events. Key events create anchors in our memory and define our perception of time. Time seems to stretch when we do memorable things, and dim until vanishing from our memory when we do ordinary ones.

This is why the latest project of this guy, a BBC News journalist, seems so intriguing to me. Matt Danzico is taking on an interesting self-experiment this year: he tries to prolong his perceived life by putting himself, each day, through a new or uncomfortable experience. In his own words, research suggests that while having new and unusual experiences time seems to go slower, while during ordinary and casual ones time seems to go faster(we are talking about the backwards perception of time past). Matt’s experiences range from boring and simplistic ones(look at paint drying, eating left handed, etc.) to the more exciting(jump from a moving car), and he tries to time each one of them using a chronometer, but without looking at it, thus being able to compare his afterwards estimations with the actual time spent.

I haven’t read all his experiences(and likely never will), but I did enjoy jumping at the end of some of them and compare his estimations with the chronometer’s results. The differences between perceived time and actual one are mind-blowing(for some experiments there’s a gap of over 50%), and I think they are a great indicator of the human incapacity of accurate time estimation.

I end this boring post by recommending each of you to try and experiment new and even uncomfortable things, like Matt does. Not one each day, since in my opinion even an ‘unusual’ routine ends up being just this – a routine, but at least once each week. Do memorable stuff, to remember this year by.

Have a long perceived life!

Photo credits: Jinto!

It’s easier than it looks

The year was 2005. I was having my lunch on a bench in the Trocadero Park, at the shadow of the Tour Eiffel. Hordes of tourists were bustling on the esplanade, photographing the breathtaking view. Me, on the other hand, was quite unimpressed by the view for which tens of millions fly to France each year. I had seen it hundreds of times. I was working at less than half a mile from the glorious symbol of Paris, in a software company providing the trading floor software for most of the banks in the top 50 world. Living and working there, in the 16eme Arrondissement, the poshest quarter of Paris, showed me that everything is possible; even for a Romanian geek born in the last decade of the communism regime and whose parents’ salaries were less than $200 per month. Me, on the other hand, had gotten my raise and, at age 24, was earning monthly more than both did in 1 year.

The occasional Bordeaux bottle of wine and Brie cheese. Rollerskating on the shores of Seine. A secure, well paid job. Some would have thought it was the perfect life. Me, I felt it as a glorious golden cage which was sucking the life out of me.

Maybe it was the late work hours with lots of overtime. Maybe it was the corporate life and the monotonous routine. Or maybe I was craving for adventure, for independence, for freedom.
It was a hard choice but I eventually made it. A few months later, on April 13th 2006 I left France, returning to my home country. I had no plans for my future, no safety net. All I knew was that I didn’t want to work ‘for the man’ anymore. This was the start of my second life and the best decision I ever made.

It’s 2011 now, 5 years since my departure. I haven’t had a ‘classic’ job since. I don’t think I could ever go back to being a normal 9-to-5 worker. The tree of independence has grown much too big, its roots are way too deep inside me. I wake up at the time of my choosing, go to sleep when I want(well.. or when my wife wants me to :) ), I work from whatever location I desire. As long as I have an Internet connection, I can work. I am my own boss and love it. There are ups and downs, and once in a while the occasional emotional roller-coaster. But overall I feel happier and more alive than I had 5 years ago. Independence rules.

It’s easier than it looks. All you need to do is start letting go of your fears. Being a freelancer, self-employed, small entrepreneur or indie developer is now at everyone’s reach. You don’t need to be a software programmer. You don’t need to be a talented writer. You don’t have to be an uber geek. But you can still be your own boss. There are countless opportunities for those who seek them.

Now, when I have the occasional wine and Brie cheese, or when I visit foreign countries, I can finally enjoy myself. The difference from 5 years ago is that, now, I actually love my life and enjoy my work.

Are you happy with yours? Do you enjoy your work? If not, what are you waiting for?

Happiness is like a pair of sunglasses

I was eating plums in the orchard of my girlfriend’s grandparents. The countryside evening was spectacular: dogs barking here and there, night butterflies flying around us, birds chirping to sleep. Surrounded by all the beauty of the simple life, I remembered this post.

Learn to be in the here and now, and experience life as it’s happening, and appreciate the world for the beauty that it is, right now. Practice makes perfect with this crucial skill.

Maybe happiness isn’t something you should aim for. Maybe happiness isn’t something you need to work at.

Maybe happiness is just like sunglasses.

Happiness is a state of mind. You shouldn’t leave in the pursuit of happiness. Instead, happiness is all around you.

It’s in the simple things, in the delicious taste of a fresh fruit, in the silent peace of countryside evenings. In the flapping of a butterfly’s wings, in the curly smoke floating out of a cigarette, in the smile of your loved one, the voice of your kids. Reaching happiness is just a matter of changing your point of view: change the way you look at the world.

Instead of focusing at the future, desperately waiting for it, just focus on the present and the beauty it gives. Instead of craving for the past pleasures, enjoy the current ones.

What are you waiting for? Put on your happiness sunglasses and enjoy your holiday!

Zen of debugging – remember the Seiza

Rereading a text I wrote last year reminded me something I wanted to articulate for quite a while. The power of meditation; but actually meditation is a word with too many and messy meanings. What I’m talking about is that powerful “take a break” moment that precedes most great breakthroughs.

In my freshman year of college(Computer Science) I was just discovering the Internet and the vast information one could get from it. Those were the days of MsDOS, Windows 95 and Windows 98, and my geek hobby back then was to subscribe to e-zines of the underground computer virus geeks. I never learned to build a computer virus(it’s bad, evil and it turns you into a criminal) but, being young and restless, I enjoyed reading how one could conceive such software that resembled most to real life-forms – the smallest and code efficient possible, which could replicate, mutate and propagate around. Nothing much stuck with me from that wild age except for a broader understanding of computers, operating systems and assembly language and, completely unrelated, the tale of one of those virus developers.

The guy was stuck at some point trying to understand how to work around the limitations(security) of Windows 98; he had tried all ideas that came to mind, and was starting to get desperate and frustrated. Yet, at one moment, he decided to just lay back. Closed the monitor, closed his eyes. Tried to think of nothing. Quarter of hour later he was coding furiously and excited. His (memory quote) computer coding Zen had struck again.

Without naming it, I’ve been using this method since highschool; now, in my computer programmer existence, I use it more than ever. Whenever I’m facing a bug I can’t understand, whenever something eludes me no matter how hard I try or how much documentation I read, I will stop.

I breathe, I take a walk around the office, get some water from the watercooler. Chat with friends. When coming back to my computer, 10 minutes later, I close my eyes and try to think of nothing. Call it Zen meditation if you prefer; call it  yourKitKat moment.

I prefer to call it Seiza – the seated 1 minute meditation before martial arts training. Letting my mind free of all thoughts is just what we perceive on the outside; on the inside, our subconscious keeps working, freed from the outside stimuli and conscious noise.

More often than once, stepping back is all it takes to solve even the biggest problem.

[photo courtesy of Flickr]

My question for 2008

First of all, Happy New Year!

Second of all, I’ve been a lying bastard in 2007 and have blogged extremely little over here, leaving all you faithful readers just hanging and desperately waiting for more insightful, funny, informative or simply original articles.

Third of all, given that this is the best time for New Year resolutions, here’s my question/story for all of you:

How much money would you want in order to NEVER WORK AGAIN?

Let’s pretend I’m a rich bastard that can give you a fixed amount of money, with only one condition: you MUST NEVER work again. Not even for charity, not even for your own freelance gig, not even to help your spouse around the house or to take gardening as a hobby. Would you agree to such a deal? If so, what would your price be?

If you’d never agree to this(as I, for instance), please think a bit about your reasons. I know mine, and I’ll disclose them although I might influence your silent answer:

I like too much doing stuff. I take the most excitement in actually doing something useful, and the feeling of meeting my job deadlines is too good to give up. This is also the reason most successful people have always a hard time quiting their jobs: work is fun and without it we’d be bored to death.

Think about it.

Make up your mind. Faster!

A man goes to the doctor saying “Doc, I have a problem: I can’t make any decision. I’m always in doubt. Or… hmm.. am I?

I’m a smart guy. Really. I graduated from top European universities, with impressive academic results, etc. The problem with smart guys is that they have too many choices. Knowing you performed pretty well in the college classes makes you confident you’ll do the same in real life. After all, there were so many courses I was clueless about, but aced them after just a couple of days of study, that any random field can become familiar after a thorough 2-3 days study.

But like any teenager growing up, once I graduated from college I was met with a handful of choices: start a career in software development, follow a PhD in one of the many Computer Science-related fields, or even start my own business. The problem with smart guys is that they get too confident. Any field seems accessible. Yes, unfortunately almost any field IS accessible. So the problem is… which path should YOU take? Most life choices are therefore reduced to decision problems: should I take this path or that other one? Continue reading

The single best happiness tip

One day (this Monday) I felt like jinxed – plenty of unfortunate coincidences, one after the other, tens of minor ingredients adding up to the classic recipe for a bad day. I was angry, furious. I know, sh*t happens, but I hate it when it happens all at once. Maybe Karma has something to do with it or it could be just God’s way to show us he still exists.

Then I remembered an article I had read over here: people who smile get happier, even against their will. Our brain is so used to associating the feeling with the gesture that it actually works both ways.

Angry as I was, I forced myself to smile. And, against all odds, it worked: I instantly felt better. Like magic.

So, yes, here’s the magic tip – whenever you feel down, just SMILE! Doesn’t matter what you’re thinking of. Just smile.

That’s it. The single best happiness tip.

Enjoy

The 5 best spots in your favorite city

DSC00499Here comes summer, holidays and trips to foreign countries…

I lived in Paris and its suburbs since 2003 to 2006. No big surprise that I fell in love with it – I sincerely believe that it’s the most beautiful city in the world(though Prague, visited 2 years ago, isn’t bad either). Now, after having left France’s capital for more than a year, I’m returning there this week in a short 5-days trip with my girlfriend.

But please, shed no tear – it’s the perfect moment to write down what I missed most about this beautiful city, and start a blog tag game, named Your favorite city’s 5 best spots. While this is not necessarily a post on productivity or life improvement, it is about discovering the not-so-obvious beauties of your favorite city :) . So please feel free to join in!

The rules are classic – if you’re tagged you must join in, if you’re not but would want to, do it anyways, but also drop a comment below so we can keep the record: write the blog post about the best 5 places/things to do in your favorite city, link back to the blog who tagged you and, at your turn, tag three other blogs.

Me, being a stinkin’ cheater, I’m going to break the rules and share with you a 15 things to do in Paris, as in 3 times as much:

  • 5 main tourist sights in Paris
  • 5 romantic getaways in Paris
  • 5 not-to-miss eating spots in Paris

Continue reading